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But something tells me our battered mood will see a winner in something like gifted ironist Nicolas Keppens’ “Beautiful Men,” a quirky tale of three balding Flemish brothers visiting foggy Istanbul for hair transplants.

After his diagnosis, Smith frantically added hair powders and Rogaine to his daily morning and evening routines, attempting to hide his balding from the eyes of others.

Would it work the same way — If I was a balding, fat guy in cargo shorts?

His background - a teacher, a football coach, an Army National Guard enlisted soldier - broadcasts "meat-and-potatoes middle America", as does perhaps his balding, rotund, slightly dishevelled appearance.

Ray is a balding, pot-bellied parole officer who goes rogue and kills an adversary by dropping an air conditioner on his head.