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And on those winter days when you’re at risk of freezing like an ice sculpture on the sidewalk, we’re standing around in yoga pants and board shorts, pretending we’ve just been surfing.

The problem with L.A. is not the reality; it’s the perception: the false, toxic notion that everyone wears Vuori board shorts and On Running sneakers to Erewhon.

A Costa Mesa man, Tobin Oliver Wood, 49, who prosecutors said posted a Craigslist ad offering “Roxy board shorts,” was sentenced to more than five years in federal prison in 2022 for selling counterfeit oxycodone pills — also known as “roxys” — that caused the 2018 fentanyl overdose of a 32-year-old San Clemente man.

County lifeguard division, said her uniform includes board shorts designed for men.

When the department recently purchased board shorts made for women, they were only available up to a size 13 — in children’s sizes.