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An arraignment for the “Lucifer” and “Cheaper by the Dozen” actor has been scheduled for March 11.

“If you had told me, as the director of ‘Cheaper by the Dozen,’ that I would end up directing the most successful R-rated movie in history,” says director-producer-co-writer Shawn Levy, “I would have laughed in your face … but secretly been really f— thrilled.”

An obligatory circuit of the freshers' fair would be swiftly overtaken by a string of pub and club events - where drinks were £1 and acquaintances were made by the dozen - all likely culminating in a 12-hour foam party.

Across the Midwest in any given week, unmarked white vans dart between breeder kennels, broker facilities and veterinarian offices, where health certificates are signed by the dozen.

It was Joel Cohen, whose credits include “Cheaper by the Dozen,” not Joel Coen, the Oscar winner, who was one of the script’s writers.