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“No need to go chucking the old steed around, oright? What’s wrong with you? Need a coffee? Ciggy?”

Deluded by guarantees of untold wealth and its trappings, their eyes cloud over, but, as yet, the narrator observes, all they’ve been offered is a ciggy.

Holding court on deck, surrounded by cameras and wine-slurping, blazer-wearing “Kippers”, was the man himself: a male Britannia with a ciggy between his fingers and a smirk across his face.

While they stomped out their ciggy butts on the fresh “dirt road” replacing pavements, some huffed and puffed about their preference for the set of “New Girl.”

The ciggy in the communal bath is long gone; increasingly cryotherapy chambers, which flush out lactic acid, and speed recovery are used.