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“There! She promised I should go next time, for this is the last ice we shall have. But it’s no use to ask such a crosspatch to take me.”

But her charm assault is formidable, and it’s not long before this former crosspatch is bestowing kooky gifts, like whimsical bumblebee legwear, upon his lady love.

And I'm a regular crosspatch, I am, at times—and never a curse do I get—you're not like other women.

‘A youthful crosspatch’: John Simm as Hamlet at the Crucible, Sheffield.

I am conscious of having been something of a crosspatch this week, so allow me to finish by applauding BBC4 for its North of England stuff.