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For one who had thought himself “a dumb cluck” while at St. Pius X High School, Alvin said he remembers leaving class that night thinking, “Well, maybe I could be an English professor. It’s kind of cool.”

Real headline: Roasting a chicken is easier than you think Fake bank head: Just start your speech with ‘Hey, you dumb cluck . . . ’

The team behind “Homecoming” certainly gets that Spider-Man is a kid, even if the movie plays the naïf angle too hard at times, making Peter look not just inexperienced, but also silly, a borderline dumb cluck.

“You’re not just a cheerleader, you dumb cluck”—Becca Rinaldi was snarling into the mike—“you’re supposed to be our cheerleader. A Mica cheerleader.”

“Aw, he’s a dumb cluck. He doesn’t know anything,” one of the men whispered in a voice loud enough for Bigger to hear.