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“A gentleman friend thought I should learn it, so he and another friend of his gave me a lesson. I don’t know what I learned. Probably nothing. In my humble opinion, a phone is just to make a call or receive a call.”

I wanted these things from my gentleman friend, but I didn’t need them.

After my gentleman friend and I ate and didn’t get food poisoning, we went back to his house.

And he called himself my “gentleman friend.”

One evening, while my gentleman friend and I waited for our meals on a restaurant patio, he said, “I have a confession.”