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“Mrs Rhoades’s ingrowing toenail has turned the corner,” says Gilbert over supper.

There has even been reassurance from the medical department that ingrowing toenails which afflicted him when he was young, and had him alarmed about the cold winter ahead, are a thing of the past.

Yet an ingrowing toenail gets treated within a mandatory 18 weeks, while there is no waiting limit at all for treating mental illness.

They illustrate a peculiar kind of academic Newspeak: each sentence is curled round like an ingrowing toenail, hard, ugly, and pointing only to itself.

Or is it a case of ingrowing signals?”