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When referring to a gay man, the term Mary can be contemptuous. However, even in direct address, it is more often used for humorous effect, without intent to offend. In fact, Mary is a term of address sometimes adopted by gay people themselves.

Pop Quiz: Do you pronounce Mary, marry, and merry all with slightly different vowels? If so, we venture to guess that you're from the northeastern part of the United States. In that region, Mary is pronounced with the same vowel as mare [mair], marry with the same vowel as mat [mat], and merry with the same vowel as met [met]. Many of these regional distinctions persist despite the equalizing effect of modern communications technology. But because patterns of sound can shift, linguists have documented how certain vowel sounds have merged over time to be pronounced the same, though still spelled differently. The majority of Americans use the merged vowel [e], as in met, for all three words. The three-way contrast can be heard in New York City and Boston. Philadelphia's three-way contrast includes an additional merger of Murray and merry, where both words are pronounced with the same vowel as fur [fur]. Two-way mergers are also common, notably Mary and merry (but not marry ) in the South. Other vowel mergers can be heard in regional dialects of American English, for example pin and pen, or cot and caught. Do you merge or not?