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As a dispatch box artiste, Johnson has all the accomplishment of one of those pisshead chancers who go house to house at 10pm in December and “carol sing” for pub money.

The smallest walk-on pisshead will get a line like "his tie looked like it had been put on by an enemy, and was strangling him".

However, we didn't know that in 1996 BBC News reporter Rajesh Mirchandani, when asked to describe himself in one word, replied "pisshead" in Radio 1's jokey Newsbeat pages.