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"I thought I was being really clever, but I probably looked a bit of a plonker!"

He tweeted that he felt "like a total plonker" after tumbling while leaving the Buxton Festival stage on Saturday.

“Mom would call him a plonker.”

It is a strange feeling looking back at a much earlier version of yourself on television, a queasy mixture of recognition and distance, approval and shame, and above all an inescapable question: who is this plonker?

If I looked like a plonker before, now I look like an old plonker.