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The car, which had four people inside, crashed in Puddock Road, near Ramsey Forty Foot in Cambridgeshire, at about 07:15 BST.

I hobbled past the man—he just gaped at me like a puddock on a hot day—and got to the foot of the stair and looked up.

Buff, grieved to the heart at the loss of his orange-tree, and almost speechless with wrath at the affront offered him, glared at his sister with eyes of hate, but "You—you puddock!" was all he managed to say.

Brown is of a generation with my parents, and grew up calling a chimney a lum, an ear a lug, a frog a puddock, and the likes of David Cameron, a sleekit skellum.

The Prince thanked her heartily and went on his way in the best of spirits while the little puddock crept slowly back into the water.