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Dieting sucks, it's horrible and boring and there is no way in hell that you are going to convince me that kale and spinach and skinless, saltless chicken and drinking 200 ounces of water a day is fun.

She advises against ciabatta, because it’s too airy, and instead recommends dense, saltless bread: “In other words, the bread of Tuscany and Umbria.”

Without the sizable population of Arabs who reside in California, New York or Michigan, restaurants here that advertise Middle Eastern cooking cater too often to a palette that can’t discern saltless chickpea mash and stovetop meat from the utter ecstasy of a smooth hummus and crispy shawarma dripping with fat.

The pretzel bread performed much the same: Its saltless hide was not ideal but proved its worth once slathered with the now-you-see-it, now-you-don’t pimento cheese.

Not even the supplementary appetizers and sides offered solace: edamame was slimy and saltless; a pile of seaweed salad arrived, for some reason, atop a bed of droopy green lettuce.