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Half an hour later, the bottle was empty and I was starfished on the hall floor, admiring the crystal chandelier spinning slowly overhead.

No matter how tense the tennis, even when the attempt to return Federer's 128mph serve left Djokovic starfished on the ground, there was no nail chewing in the royal box: the hands were far too well manicured for that.

They then picked up one poor woman who was clinging to a piece of wood, and an unconscious man who was starfished on a hatch board.