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Gardner’s dad was Soda Pop, since he was a teetotaler.

This is tricky show business: Alcoholics become teetotalers as the show progresses.

Alcohol is available in bars and clubs in the United Arab Emirates, the federation of seven sheikhdoms that includes Dubai, but the Muslim country has a large population of teetotalers.

The bartender reached for the whiskey, but the cowboy shook his head; either he was a teetotaler — rare in those parts — or he was a little saggy in the saddlebags, digestively speaking.

“The fact that the first person that starts collecting them in England is a pro-socialist vegetarian teetotaler who believes dwarfs and little folk are real is not a great way to establish their legitimacy.”