�y��vlog

And while Guardian News and Media takes no legal responsibility for etc etc, you might want to have an emergency bottle of homebrow turps to hand in case things get somewhat overwrought.

Now I entered a room that seemed to withdraw from me and stood, hesitating, in the doorway, like an uninvited guest, inhaling the familiar smells of oil paint and turps.

That means pink balls, floodlights, and God only knows what in the stands as patrons are given a four-hour warm-up on the turps.

Well, Callum Innes puts on the oil paint and scrapes it off, then he puts it on again and washes it off with turps.

To prepare the first oil, half fill a cup with pure turps, stand it in a saucer, and spill a little over the sides of the cup.