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According to the watch, he was down to twenty-six seconds.

“The Bedford Park Fire Department, along with multiple Fire Department agencies from surrounding jurisdictions, transported twenty-six patients to area hospitals for treatment,” police said in a news release.

Why didn’t twenty-six armed soldiers, under cloak of darkness, charge two civilians hiding in a barn?

“I need twenty-six more outfits for her!” he said.

“Yes, identities behind those payments were obscured by pseudonymous addresses, long strings of between twenty-six and thirty-five characters,” Greenberg writes.