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When it’s in the hands of cinematic chef and film critic Justin Chang, the visual victuals can be sumptuous.

Now, home cooks follow restaurant chefs, hoping to glean the secrets of serving exceptional victuals.

If there were a wandering victuals club — transporting loaded suitcases with bubble-wrapped jars, and brown paper sacks brimming with backyard garden goodies — Dr. Howard Conyers would be a member.

He gushed forth praise for the Abbey victuals.

“It tastes like chewing on a urine-infested mattress,” said Samuel West, who, as curator of the Disgusting Food Museum, knows a thing or two about unpleasant victuals.