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As is custom, this year's bacon battle took place in a marquee in front of a jury of "six maidens and six bachelors", who had to be persuaded that in "twelvemonth and a day" the couples have "not wisht themselves unmarried again".

“And I wisht I was back there roight naow, ’stead of marching through this bloomin’ place.”

He stood up, and Grandpa and Miss Love stood up, and I did, and there was an awkward minute till Grandpa said, “Well, I wisht you’d stay on, sir. We could put you up for the night.”

“Say you shore wisht you knew.”

“If'n Miss and Mister is all thet’s comin’ betwixt us, I shore wisht you’d a-said so in New York City!