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The first estimate of the wrigglers’ worldwide contribution to crop harvests, published this week in Nature Communications, says they help farmers grow more than 140 million tons of food each year.

Mars keeps a homemade worm bin in her backyard, where she regularly mixes dirt with leftover watermelon rinds and vegetable peels to feed red wriggler worms and create her own worm castings.

That means the fastest wrigglers are mainly competing with each other, and not the slower sperm, for a clear shot to the egg.

However I'm not sure a few more slithery wrigglers would make up for the loss of one of humanity's closest living relatives.

“And such a mess he’s made! Why, attend, you little wriggler…” and she picked the lumps of banana from his clothes and his hair.