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Gary had it the worst; aside from the beatings, his father humiliated him for a perceived weight problem, calling him Lardass and Bucket Butt.

It would be funny if it weren’t also gruesome and grotesque: Republicans are supposed to be the testosterone party of rugged American individualism, as seen in Chevy Silverado commercials, and what I saw on that stage was a bunch of lardass dudes with boiled-lobster complexions and quivering jowls, terrified of the invisible Muslim mice under the bed.

Just look at Silvio Berlusconi, allegedly lashing out at Angela Merkel by calling her an “unfuckable lardass” when forced to confront the fact she had the survival of his nation’s economy in her hand.

The image of McBride as the dim, smug and beefy Prince Thadeous, who begins the story as an irritating lardass loser and ends it as an even more irritating hero, was burned into my brain, complete with the enormous severed minotaur dong he wears on a necklace.

More considered were Bradford's nail-on-head pastiches of the official World Cup posters, supposed early drafts jettisoned by Fifa, including USA 94's "Wrongway Round Baseball Cap Wearing Teenage Lardass", 1958's Scandinavian depressionfest "Birth, Kick Off, Full Time, Death", and the Maoist chic of 1974's "Turn on, tune in, drop out mit Paul Breitner".